Am I the same person as I was three years ago?

Blood glucose: 7.0mmol/l (126mg/dl)

July 6th 2007 is a date that (I have no doubt) will be engraved in my mind forever. So is May 5th. And January 11th. After that, I seemed to lose my ability to remember the important dates. Too much was happening, and far, far too fast.

On January 11th, my Grandad had a massive stroke. He was given a 20% chance of surviving the first night, and he was in a coma. He did survive the first night, and he kept surviving. He had several more strokes, and heart attacks. And a pulmonary embolism and a deep vein thrombosis. The only word he could say in all those months, was "no". All of that showed me how much I valued my family. I tried to visit him as much as I could, and I hate to say it, but we became closer in those silent months than we ever had done before. He was getting better. He was due to come home on April 22nd.

That never happened. He deteriorated rapidly, until June 5th. Everything stopped. He was the first person close to me that I ever lost, and I realised again the importance of closeness and relationships.

And the fragility of life.

Everything hangs on a balance, which can easily slip in either direction. And when it does, everything changes. Including you.

Throughout that time, I had been noticing some strange symptoms, but I was too preoccupied to notice. Too preoccupied to reason that whilst I was watching my Grandad's health deteriorating, so was my own.

On July 6th, I was admitted to hospital. My weight had gone from 9 stone to 6 stone. My blood glucose was off any measureable scale, as were the level of ketones in my blood. This story is too familiar to anyone who has experienced a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes in an emergency situation to repeat in its entirety.

The next month, my Grandma was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, she was treated and recovered.

I always wonder if I would have been who I am today if it wasn't for all of this, and if it hadn't happened in such quick succession. I HAD to learn to cope; there was no other way. I was forced to become more confident, and to learn my own body. I couldn't not do it.

Much as I hate type 1 diabetes, it's funny to think that I wouldn't be who I am without it.