Blood glucose: 9.3mmol/l (167mg/dl)
Illness got the better of me, I guess. I've made it to school every day, and kept vaguely on top of work, but not a great deal more than that. But, things are on the up now and I'm no longer waking up all night feeling like I can't breathe. Still dosed up on cold and flu meds, though. BGs were consistently above 14 until a couple days ago... Ugh. So, a meme to get back into the spirit of blogging! Stolen from Kerri.
1. Do you like bleu cheese? No - ew.
2. Have you ever smoked? No (as above).
3. Do you own a gun? No... Way more harm than good. Plus legality issues. And the fact that I would have no clue what to do with one anyway.
4. Favorite type of food? Strawberries. Chocolate brownies. Noodles. Risotto. Chinese.
5. Favorite type of music? Little bit of a variety. Right now I'm into Nevershoutnever! and Death Cab for Cutie, but I like quite a lot of other stuff too.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Vegetarian.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Meh. Four Christmasses was okay.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water, all the way.
9. Can you do push ups? Not in the slightest.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Charm bracelet. (:
11. Favorite hobby? Not sure.
12. Do you have A. D. D.? Nope.
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yep, glasses. Stupid eyesight.
14. Middle name? Grace.
15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment: God, Waterloo Road is good; I really need to catch up with some Chemistry work; Paper tastes good.
16. Name three drinks you regularly drink: Water, fruity tea, strong black coffee.
17. Current worry? That I'm feeling well enough soon to get completely up to date with everything.
18. Current hate right now? Diabetes? That's a bit of a constant.
19. Favorite place to be? Home.
20. How did you bring in the new year? With a canvas and a lot of paint and photos. And a best friend. Perfect.
21. Someplace you’d like to go? Not sure.
22. Name three people who will complete this. No one, I'm sure.
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, but that's not to say I wear them.
24. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark blue with flowers.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Can't say I ever have done.
26. Can you whistle? Yes. And sometimes even accidentally.
27. Where are you now? Sitting in the corner of the living room on my laptop watching Waterloo Road and writing this.
28. Would you be a pirate? No?
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Anything, really.
30. Favorite Girl’s Name? Alba and Kimberley (first two future girl children).
31. Favorite boy’s name? Not sure.
32. What is in your pocket right now? Insulin pump.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Jen spinning around in circles in the RS department.
34. What vehicle do you drive? Only my driving instructor's car.
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Stealing Kerri's answer. Pancreatic death.
36. Do you love where you live? 's'alrigh'.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two.
38. How many computers do you have in your house? Five (laptops).
39. If you changed your job, what would it be? Actress. (Y)
40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? Happy future, happy friends and family, good A level grades..? ;)
Friday 27 November 2009
Monday 16 November 2009
Sunday 15 November 2009
Cheat post, really.
Just because it's close enough to the end of NaBloPoMo that I can't stop now, a cheaty post for today.
Have been working all day basically and also had my first driving lesson on the actual road!
Feeling crappy from the H1N1 shot yesterday, and really exhausted, so I'm off to bed now.
Have been working all day basically and also had my first driving lesson on the actual road!
Feeling crappy from the H1N1 shot yesterday, and really exhausted, so I'm off to bed now.
Saturday 14 November 2009
Happy (?) World Diabetes Day
Blood glucose: 11.4mmol/l (205mg/dl)
Another year, another pseudo-celebration. It feels somewhat like my D-anniversary, to me. Bittersweet. I'm still happy and I'm still healthy, but I still have to deal with diabetes and its challenges every single day. No matter how much I am living, how well I am doing, how good my A1C is, how healthy I am, how happy I am... Nothing can ever take that away from me. However "good" control I am in, I still need to test upwards of 15 times on a lot of days. It's very rare for me to test less than 10 times a day. I usually have to do something, whether it's changing out insulin, tubing or infusion set, every day, which is time consuming.
I can't go out and get drunk or go into town without taking a bag with me or just go to sleep and forget about everything. I can't just skip a meal without the constant nagging question of "are my basals right? Can I actually go without this meal?". I can't lie in bed past 10AM without my parents starting to worry. Am I just being a teenager, or am I low? Have I not woken up, this time? Could I be high? Maybe my infusion set has been pulled out in the middle of the night.
I have to decide every night, whether I am going to set an alarm and disturb my sleep up to 3 times, to allow me to run as low as I would like (4-6mmol/l (72-108mg/dl)), or whether I am going to allow myself to run higher (7-10mmol/l (126-180)) and let myself sleep for longer than 6 hours at a stretch. I'm seventeen years old and I have to make a choice whether for tonight I want to have some decent sleep, or decent BG numbers. I have to decide whether the risks of future complications from running high all night outweigh the risks of waking up at 20-30mg/dl at 1AM. I just don't feel old enough for this, a lot of the time. And yet, I've been doing it since I was 14. And the parents of all children with diabetes have to make these decisions too (about their own children - whose lives are likely far more precious to them than my own life is to me) every single day. We don't get a break. Diabetes never sleeps. We take it with us when we go to school, when we go out, and when we go on vacation. Nothing will ever be simple again, until we have a cure.
We all still deal with every day as it comes. I have 100% attendance at school, and I plan to keep it that way. I'm not sick all the time (even if a simple flu diagnosis does frequently lead to hospitalisation in children and adults with type 1 diabetes, I have been lucky enough to escape any serious illness so far). I still go out (even if sometimes my blood glucose falls to below 2.2 (40) and I have to sit down and eat something and struggle to keep conscious and talking). I still have hopes, and dreams, and future plans. I still have love, and my religion. Diabetes will never take that away from me. Diabetes will never take the majority of what I have away from me.
But I would be lying if I pretended that it has taken nothing away from me, and I would be lying if I pretended I am still the same person as I would be had I not got diabetes.
Another year, another pseudo-celebration. It feels somewhat like my D-anniversary, to me. Bittersweet. I'm still happy and I'm still healthy, but I still have to deal with diabetes and its challenges every single day. No matter how much I am living, how well I am doing, how good my A1C is, how healthy I am, how happy I am... Nothing can ever take that away from me. However "good" control I am in, I still need to test upwards of 15 times on a lot of days. It's very rare for me to test less than 10 times a day. I usually have to do something, whether it's changing out insulin, tubing or infusion set, every day, which is time consuming.
I can't go out and get drunk or go into town without taking a bag with me or just go to sleep and forget about everything. I can't just skip a meal without the constant nagging question of "are my basals right? Can I actually go without this meal?". I can't lie in bed past 10AM without my parents starting to worry. Am I just being a teenager, or am I low? Have I not woken up, this time? Could I be high? Maybe my infusion set has been pulled out in the middle of the night.
I have to decide every night, whether I am going to set an alarm and disturb my sleep up to 3 times, to allow me to run as low as I would like (4-6mmol/l (72-108mg/dl)), or whether I am going to allow myself to run higher (7-10mmol/l (126-180)) and let myself sleep for longer than 6 hours at a stretch. I'm seventeen years old and I have to make a choice whether for tonight I want to have some decent sleep, or decent BG numbers. I have to decide whether the risks of future complications from running high all night outweigh the risks of waking up at 20-30mg/dl at 1AM. I just don't feel old enough for this, a lot of the time. And yet, I've been doing it since I was 14. And the parents of all children with diabetes have to make these decisions too (about their own children - whose lives are likely far more precious to them than my own life is to me) every single day. We don't get a break. Diabetes never sleeps. We take it with us when we go to school, when we go out, and when we go on vacation. Nothing will ever be simple again, until we have a cure.
We all still deal with every day as it comes. I have 100% attendance at school, and I plan to keep it that way. I'm not sick all the time (even if a simple flu diagnosis does frequently lead to hospitalisation in children and adults with type 1 diabetes, I have been lucky enough to escape any serious illness so far). I still go out (even if sometimes my blood glucose falls to below 2.2 (40) and I have to sit down and eat something and struggle to keep conscious and talking). I still have hopes, and dreams, and future plans. I still have love, and my religion. Diabetes will never take that away from me. Diabetes will never take the majority of what I have away from me.
But I would be lying if I pretended that it has taken nothing away from me, and I would be lying if I pretended I am still the same person as I would be had I not got diabetes.
Friday 13 November 2009
Not such a positive view of hypo awareness.
Blood glucose: 6.5mmol/l (117mg/dl)
Wow, low symptoms are 10,000 times worse than I remembered.
On Thursday I dropped to the 50s and just completely panicked. Not at the number - at how I felt. My legs were twitching and I felt on the verge of collapsing. Considering that I hadn't been feeling 20s and 30s up to this week, I'm not really sure what has happened. I was standing at my locker, eating chocolate and seriously considering asking someone for help. I felt that dizzy and faint.
Today I had a low in the 60s during a chemistry test and I couldn't even thing about the test. My brain just felt like it had slowed down completely. I have no idea what is happening. I'm not used to feeling that bad in the 60s.
Much as I hate the low symptoms, at least I'm catching them earlier. It's funny, though, because I felt so close to passing out yesterday when I've been LO before without even the thought of passing out in my mind. Makes me wonder whether people with hypo awareness would collapse at an earlier point than people who can't feel hypos. I mean, if your legs are shaking and twitching, it's bound to be easier to collapse, right?
The other thing is, at least I'm actually running low enough to HAVE lows. I've been a bit higher than usual for quite a while, so it's good to see that my (fairly aggressive) changes are actually working. Considering the amount I'm eating (I had 2 lunches yesterday and 3 dinners today xD) it's quite an achievement that I've stayed below 153 (8.5) all day. :D So.. I might gain a bit of weight, but at least my numbers are good.
Wow, low symptoms are 10,000 times worse than I remembered.
On Thursday I dropped to the 50s and just completely panicked. Not at the number - at how I felt. My legs were twitching and I felt on the verge of collapsing. Considering that I hadn't been feeling 20s and 30s up to this week, I'm not really sure what has happened. I was standing at my locker, eating chocolate and seriously considering asking someone for help. I felt that dizzy and faint.
Today I had a low in the 60s during a chemistry test and I couldn't even thing about the test. My brain just felt like it had slowed down completely. I have no idea what is happening. I'm not used to feeling that bad in the 60s.
Much as I hate the low symptoms, at least I'm catching them earlier. It's funny, though, because I felt so close to passing out yesterday when I've been LO before without even the thought of passing out in my mind. Makes me wonder whether people with hypo awareness would collapse at an earlier point than people who can't feel hypos. I mean, if your legs are shaking and twitching, it's bound to be easier to collapse, right?
The other thing is, at least I'm actually running low enough to HAVE lows. I've been a bit higher than usual for quite a while, so it's good to see that my (fairly aggressive) changes are actually working. Considering the amount I'm eating (I had 2 lunches yesterday and 3 dinners today xD) it's quite an achievement that I've stayed below 153 (8.5) all day. :D So.. I might gain a bit of weight, but at least my numbers are good.
Thursday 12 November 2009
CGMS!
Blood glucose: 4.3mmol/l (77mg/dl)
I got a wishy washy letter from my GP today, letting me know that a decision has still not been made about whether they will cover the CGMS for full time use. They appear to have agreed to cover it for "intermittant" use (whatever that means, exactly). They will not cover the transmitter.
So, we're paying out of pocket for the starter pack (which comes with transmitter, 10 sensors carelink USB and basics) and continuing to beg the primary care trust to fund as many sensors as they will agree to. Even 1-2 a month would be SUCH a help, considering they're 37.50GBP each.
I expect to end up using it only around 50% of the time, but that would be awesome. Even just having it for times of illness, random lows, growth spurts, exam time etc. would be amazing. :D
I just want all the paperwork to go through so I can get onto the CGM as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pretty happy today! (:
I got a wishy washy letter from my GP today, letting me know that a decision has still not been made about whether they will cover the CGMS for full time use. They appear to have agreed to cover it for "intermittant" use (whatever that means, exactly). They will not cover the transmitter.
So, we're paying out of pocket for the starter pack (which comes with transmitter, 10 sensors carelink USB and basics) and continuing to beg the primary care trust to fund as many sensors as they will agree to. Even 1-2 a month would be SUCH a help, considering they're 37.50GBP each.
I expect to end up using it only around 50% of the time, but that would be awesome. Even just having it for times of illness, random lows, growth spurts, exam time etc. would be amazing. :D
I just want all the paperwork to go through so I can get onto the CGM as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pretty happy today! (:
Wednesday 11 November 2009
Feeling some lows!
Blood glucose: 14.1mmol/l (254mg/dl)
I've been unaware of hypos for some months now, but today I've felt one low and one fast drop. This is pretty exciting for me because I hate it when I get really low (in the 1mmol/l range (20- to 36mg/dl before I test and realise what's going on.
Today I was 11.9 (214) at 1 hour after lunch. About half an hour later I tested again to see if I was dropping or whether I needed to correct, and saw a 3.4 (61). I treated, and about 5 minutes later I started getting huge low symptoms. At first I just couldn't think straight, but then I walked upstairs to my locker (I didn't want to be around people) and my legs started shaking and the muscles felt like they were twitching. It was very scary to feel so weak and powerless again after all this time, but quite a relief in a way, because if I start being able to feel lows at around 3mmol/l, that gives me a bit of leeway before anything serious happens.
I accidentally overtreated and bounced up to 12ish (216) and then dropped to 6.2 (112) in half an hour. And I felt low again!
It's funny that I can say the horrible experience of feeling hypo made me feel relieved. But it did. And it still does. Here's to hoping today wasn't a fluke and warning symptoms are coming back for good.
I've been unaware of hypos for some months now, but today I've felt one low and one fast drop. This is pretty exciting for me because I hate it when I get really low (in the 1mmol/l range (20- to 36mg/dl before I test and realise what's going on.
Today I was 11.9 (214) at 1 hour after lunch. About half an hour later I tested again to see if I was dropping or whether I needed to correct, and saw a 3.4 (61). I treated, and about 5 minutes later I started getting huge low symptoms. At first I just couldn't think straight, but then I walked upstairs to my locker (I didn't want to be around people) and my legs started shaking and the muscles felt like they were twitching. It was very scary to feel so weak and powerless again after all this time, but quite a relief in a way, because if I start being able to feel lows at around 3mmol/l, that gives me a bit of leeway before anything serious happens.
I accidentally overtreated and bounced up to 12ish (216) and then dropped to 6.2 (112) in half an hour. And I felt low again!
It's funny that I can say the horrible experience of feeling hypo made me feel relieved. But it did. And it still does. Here's to hoping today wasn't a fluke and warning symptoms are coming back for good.
Tuesday 10 November 2009
Happy birthday to me!
Blood glucose: 10.3mmol/l (185mg/dl)
No time.. I've had a great day.. But I need to go to bed. :P Why do all the exciting things fall on NaBloPoMo!?
In a non-birthday-related thing, I'll post the note I posted on facebook on here. Just because.
In spirit of last year's post, I thought that now would be an appropriate moment to write something new.
Last year was a fairly nondescript account of the basic physiological processes behind type 1 diabetes.
This year, I have been living with it for one year more.
Since being diagnosed with type 1 (juvenile) diabetes, I have had 13,700 blood tests, 2500 insulin injections, and around 180 cannula insertions.
Since last year, I have moved from around 7 shots of insulin per day to wearing an insulin pump. I wear it all the time (yes, that includes when I sleep) and it's attached to me with a needle (6mm long). I can take it off for up to an hour. I have heard from parents across the world of their children's cries of "I'm free!" when their pump is removed for a few short minutes before they change the cannula (every 2 or 3 days). Adorable, but heartbreaking. Whenever I think of the children ranging from just a few weeks old and upwards who have to cope with the pain and the problems caused by this stupid disease, it just makes me want to cry and throw something at the wall. The children who aren't going to grow out of it. They are just going to get older.
They will stop being children with diabetes to become teenagers with diabetes, and adults with diabetes. The seemingly unending challenge of pricking fingers, tiny, or large and calloused, 10-15 times a day is difficult, for the children, and for the parents. Waking up at 1AM, unable to think straight, close to losing consciousness, barely managing to gulp down some orange juice, is difficult enough. Waking your child up to do the same must be close to unbearable.
Looking at the blood glucose meter to see yet another high or low number, yet another challenge to face, is hard. But it's certainly easier than the death by starvation faced by children who developed diabetes before the 1920s. If I was born 100 years earlier, I would have died at 14. That is scary. We have come so far in under 100 years.
Here's to hoping we have a cure before the next 100 are over.
Thanks for reading.
If you haven't already, please go to JDRF aware and turn your profile picture blue for November 14th, to show support for the juvenile diabetes research foundation's relentless hunt to find a cure.
No time.. I've had a great day.. But I need to go to bed. :P Why do all the exciting things fall on NaBloPoMo!?
In a non-birthday-related thing, I'll post the note I posted on facebook on here. Just because.
In spirit of last year's post, I thought that now would be an appropriate moment to write something new.
Last year was a fairly nondescript account of the basic physiological processes behind type 1 diabetes.
This year, I have been living with it for one year more.
Since being diagnosed with type 1 (juvenile) diabetes, I have had 13,700 blood tests, 2500 insulin injections, and around 180 cannula insertions.
Since last year, I have moved from around 7 shots of insulin per day to wearing an insulin pump. I wear it all the time (yes, that includes when I sleep) and it's attached to me with a needle (6mm long). I can take it off for up to an hour. I have heard from parents across the world of their children's cries of "I'm free!" when their pump is removed for a few short minutes before they change the cannula (every 2 or 3 days). Adorable, but heartbreaking. Whenever I think of the children ranging from just a few weeks old and upwards who have to cope with the pain and the problems caused by this stupid disease, it just makes me want to cry and throw something at the wall. The children who aren't going to grow out of it. They are just going to get older.
They will stop being children with diabetes to become teenagers with diabetes, and adults with diabetes. The seemingly unending challenge of pricking fingers, tiny, or large and calloused, 10-15 times a day is difficult, for the children, and for the parents. Waking up at 1AM, unable to think straight, close to losing consciousness, barely managing to gulp down some orange juice, is difficult enough. Waking your child up to do the same must be close to unbearable.
Looking at the blood glucose meter to see yet another high or low number, yet another challenge to face, is hard. But it's certainly easier than the death by starvation faced by children who developed diabetes before the 1920s. If I was born 100 years earlier, I would have died at 14. That is scary. We have come so far in under 100 years.
Here's to hoping we have a cure before the next 100 are over.
Thanks for reading.
If you haven't already, please go to JDRF aware and turn your profile picture blue for November 14th, to show support for the juvenile diabetes research foundation's relentless hunt to find a cure.
Monday 9 November 2009
Gosh, it's hard to think of a new title everyday!
Blood glucose: 9.0mmol/l (162mg/dl)
I'm definitely still settling into the whole daily blogging thing. Not enough happens in my life to write a new post every day! (; But hey, I'll cope. This will just be a bit dull I guess.
I had a Biology test today which was horriblehorriblehorrible. Luckily, I was having a lucky day :D and my guesses were primarily right. One of the questions I had no clue on, the options were A: 1 and 3, B: 1 and 2, C: 2 and 4 and D: 3 and 4. I guessed C because my lucky number is 2 and two to the power 2 is 4. And it was right. (;
After Biology was Statistics which is usually not great, but it was quite good today. I like probability better than graph based topics which kill me a little inside...
After lunch I had double Chemistry which was good because we were doing flame tests which basically involve dipping a rod into a compound, waving it around in a flame for a while and watching the flame turn pretty colours. (Yes, this was the whole reason I took Chemistry at A-Level.) I also got predicted an A for my Chemistry A-Level, so that made me happy. (:
Today has been pretty good. I feel like I'm in fast forward (in a good way) and I'm quite over-excited / hyperactive. I don't know why I feel so good, but it's definitely nice. Possibly because my BG is under better control than it has been lately. Except for a nasty crash on the way to the bus stop, but at least I haven't been high.
I'm now off to do Statistics homework and upload my plog from yesterday.
Tomorrow is my 17th birthday!!!
Goodnight!
I'm definitely still settling into the whole daily blogging thing. Not enough happens in my life to write a new post every day! (; But hey, I'll cope. This will just be a bit dull I guess.
I had a Biology test today which was horriblehorriblehorrible. Luckily, I was having a lucky day :D and my guesses were primarily right. One of the questions I had no clue on, the options were A: 1 and 3, B: 1 and 2, C: 2 and 4 and D: 3 and 4. I guessed C because my lucky number is 2 and two to the power 2 is 4. And it was right. (;
After Biology was Statistics which is usually not great, but it was quite good today. I like probability better than graph based topics which kill me a little inside...
After lunch I had double Chemistry which was good because we were doing flame tests which basically involve dipping a rod into a compound, waving it around in a flame for a while and watching the flame turn pretty colours. (Yes, this was the whole reason I took Chemistry at A-Level.) I also got predicted an A for my Chemistry A-Level, so that made me happy. (:
Today has been pretty good. I feel like I'm in fast forward (in a good way) and I'm quite over-excited / hyperactive. I don't know why I feel so good, but it's definitely nice. Possibly because my BG is under better control than it has been lately. Except for a nasty crash on the way to the bus stop, but at least I haven't been high.
I'm now off to do Statistics homework and upload my plog from yesterday.
Tomorrow is my 17th birthday!!!
Goodnight!
Sunday 8 November 2009
Time has run away..
No time to blog right now, I'll put something up later. Sorry! I have written it, but computer access is limited. I hope I haven't failed NaBloPoMo. ;D
EDIT:Argh, it cut off the top of my plog! It said: 08-11-2009, 10.23PM.
EDIT:Argh, it cut off the top of my plog! It said: 08-11-2009, 10.23PM.
Saturday 7 November 2009
Frustrated
Blood glucose: 13.0mmol/l (234mg/dl)
I'm always in the 200s nowadays, and I don't like it.
I'm worried for what my next A1C will be, and just plain scared of what this sort of number will do to my body in the future.
I don't want this diabetes thing. I wish I could just give it back, and I hate that I can't. I wish they would hurry up and get us the cure already.
I have been working on my Extended Project Qualification today. It's basically a 5000 word in depth essay on a topic that you knew nothing about before you started working on the project. I'm doing mine on the psychology behind religion, which is both an interesting and infuriating at times topic. It involves reading quite a lot of Freud, who, although he writes his ideas well and with conviction, tells nothing more than one possible story. For all his ramble about how psychoanalysis is better than religious faith because it is based upon real worldly experience, the conclusions he draws don't seem to have come from his experience of the world at all. Little annoying. At least the fantasy aspect makes his books quite fun to read.
Me and my mummy also went to the theatre to see a funny(ish) play.. AND I found out that Derren Brown is going to be at a theatre about 20 minutes drive from where we live, which is SO cool. I really have to go see him. I'm only in love with him! I've never been so disappointed to hear that somebody is gay.
Oh, and I'm no longer sick. :D So life is good except from the diabetes related frustrations. For the BG issues I'm seriously considering just starting over using the rules from "Pumping Insulin" and hoping for the best... Getting some good advice from CWD parents though (what would I do without them!?) so that might not have to happen. Rage induced massive changes can end in disaster...
I'm always in the 200s nowadays, and I don't like it.
I'm worried for what my next A1C will be, and just plain scared of what this sort of number will do to my body in the future.
I don't want this diabetes thing. I wish I could just give it back, and I hate that I can't. I wish they would hurry up and get us the cure already.
I have been working on my Extended Project Qualification today. It's basically a 5000 word in depth essay on a topic that you knew nothing about before you started working on the project. I'm doing mine on the psychology behind religion, which is both an interesting and infuriating at times topic. It involves reading quite a lot of Freud, who, although he writes his ideas well and with conviction, tells nothing more than one possible story. For all his ramble about how psychoanalysis is better than religious faith because it is based upon real worldly experience, the conclusions he draws don't seem to have come from his experience of the world at all. Little annoying. At least the fantasy aspect makes his books quite fun to read.
Me and my mummy also went to the theatre to see a funny(ish) play.. AND I found out that Derren Brown is going to be at a theatre about 20 minutes drive from where we live, which is SO cool. I really have to go see him. I'm only in love with him! I've never been so disappointed to hear that somebody is gay.
Oh, and I'm no longer sick. :D So life is good except from the diabetes related frustrations. For the BG issues I'm seriously considering just starting over using the rules from "Pumping Insulin" and hoping for the best... Getting some good advice from CWD parents though (what would I do without them!?) so that might not have to happen. Rage induced massive changes can end in disaster...
Friday 6 November 2009
In the same light, an old post
Blood glucose: 9.2mmol/l (166mg/dl)
My Diabetic Life So Far: 21-07-07
06-07-07 – Diagnosed with Type One diabetes, after ‘textbook symptoms’ and going to have it checked out.
08-07-07 – No complications or DKA, out of hospital!!!
09-07-07 – In school again, for half days.
11-07-07 – Switched to basal/bolus, giving Lantus at nine PM and NovoRapid before each meal.
16-07-07 – First full day back at school!
20-07-07 – Slept round Aliee’s! (first sleepover since diabetes hit and no major problems.)
21-07-07 – Today – Best sugar day so far (Y). Still not in my target range, but I’M GETTING CLOSE! Plus the Harry Potter book makes a darned good day if I may say so. Though I haven’t finished it yett. And my amazing broher bought me no added sugar cadburys for my “low sugar diet”. yummm. Anyway, hopefully I’ll have something more exciting to say soon, please leave me a comment if you read this, I don’t have much going on at the moment and it’ll give me something to read. [:
How much have things moved on!? (:
Sorry for all the short / repeated posts, I'm still sick, so somewhat lacking in inspiration...
My Diabetic Life So Far: 21-07-07
06-07-07 – Diagnosed with Type One diabetes, after ‘textbook symptoms’ and going to have it checked out.
08-07-07 – No complications or DKA, out of hospital!!!
09-07-07 – In school again, for half days.
11-07-07 – Switched to basal/bolus, giving Lantus at nine PM and NovoRapid before each meal.
16-07-07 – First full day back at school!
20-07-07 – Slept round Aliee’s! (first sleepover since diabetes hit and no major problems.)
21-07-07 – Today – Best sugar day so far (Y). Still not in my target range, but I’M GETTING CLOSE! Plus the Harry Potter book makes a darned good day if I may say so. Though I haven’t finished it yett. And my amazing broher bought me no added sugar cadburys for my “low sugar diet”. yummm. Anyway, hopefully I’ll have something more exciting to say soon, please leave me a comment if you read this, I don’t have much going on at the moment and it’ll give me something to read. [:
How much have things moved on!? (:
Sorry for all the short / repeated posts, I'm still sick, so somewhat lacking in inspiration...
Thursday 5 November 2009
Am I the same person as I was three years ago?
Blood glucose: 7.0mmol/l (126mg/dl)
July 6th 2007 is a date that (I have no doubt) will be engraved in my mind forever. So is May 5th. And January 11th. After that, I seemed to lose my ability to remember the important dates. Too much was happening, and far, far too fast.
On January 11th, my Grandad had a massive stroke. He was given a 20% chance of surviving the first night, and he was in a coma. He did survive the first night, and he kept surviving. He had several more strokes, and heart attacks. And a pulmonary embolism and a deep vein thrombosis. The only word he could say in all those months, was "no". All of that showed me how much I valued my family. I tried to visit him as much as I could, and I hate to say it, but we became closer in those silent months than we ever had done before. He was getting better. He was due to come home on April 22nd.
That never happened. He deteriorated rapidly, until June 5th. Everything stopped. He was the first person close to me that I ever lost, and I realised again the importance of closeness and relationships.
And the fragility of life.
Everything hangs on a balance, which can easily slip in either direction. And when it does, everything changes. Including you.
Throughout that time, I had been noticing some strange symptoms, but I was too preoccupied to notice. Too preoccupied to reason that whilst I was watching my Grandad's health deteriorating, so was my own.
On July 6th, I was admitted to hospital. My weight had gone from 9 stone to 6 stone. My blood glucose was off any measureable scale, as were the level of ketones in my blood. This story is too familiar to anyone who has experienced a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes in an emergency situation to repeat in its entirety.
The next month, my Grandma was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, she was treated and recovered.
I always wonder if I would have been who I am today if it wasn't for all of this, and if it hadn't happened in such quick succession. I HAD to learn to cope; there was no other way. I was forced to become more confident, and to learn my own body. I couldn't not do it.
Much as I hate type 1 diabetes, it's funny to think that I wouldn't be who I am without it.
July 6th 2007 is a date that (I have no doubt) will be engraved in my mind forever. So is May 5th. And January 11th. After that, I seemed to lose my ability to remember the important dates. Too much was happening, and far, far too fast.
On January 11th, my Grandad had a massive stroke. He was given a 20% chance of surviving the first night, and he was in a coma. He did survive the first night, and he kept surviving. He had several more strokes, and heart attacks. And a pulmonary embolism and a deep vein thrombosis. The only word he could say in all those months, was "no". All of that showed me how much I valued my family. I tried to visit him as much as I could, and I hate to say it, but we became closer in those silent months than we ever had done before. He was getting better. He was due to come home on April 22nd.
That never happened. He deteriorated rapidly, until June 5th. Everything stopped. He was the first person close to me that I ever lost, and I realised again the importance of closeness and relationships.
And the fragility of life.
Everything hangs on a balance, which can easily slip in either direction. And when it does, everything changes. Including you.
Throughout that time, I had been noticing some strange symptoms, but I was too preoccupied to notice. Too preoccupied to reason that whilst I was watching my Grandad's health deteriorating, so was my own.
On July 6th, I was admitted to hospital. My weight had gone from 9 stone to 6 stone. My blood glucose was off any measureable scale, as were the level of ketones in my blood. This story is too familiar to anyone who has experienced a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes in an emergency situation to repeat in its entirety.
The next month, my Grandma was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, she was treated and recovered.
I always wonder if I would have been who I am today if it wasn't for all of this, and if it hadn't happened in such quick succession. I HAD to learn to cope; there was no other way. I was forced to become more confident, and to learn my own body. I couldn't not do it.
Much as I hate type 1 diabetes, it's funny to think that I wouldn't be who I am without it.
Wednesday 4 November 2009
Feeling Crappy
Blood glucose: 6.7mmol/l (121mg/dl)
Just a short blog today (comparatively, at least) because I don't have much to say and I'm headed for bed.
Everything hurts, I have repeated stabbing pains in the back of my head and upper abdomen and have been feeling nauseous (and close to tears) all day... Crummy, basically. Wrapped in a blanket at the moment, so I'm only faced with the challenge of taking myself upstairs and collapsing in bed and hopefully things will look (and feel) better in the morning.
My BGs have also been going low 1-2 hours after each meal... Ughh.
So, I'll say goodnight now and let myself get better with the aid of sleep.
Just a short blog today (comparatively, at least) because I don't have much to say and I'm headed for bed.
Everything hurts, I have repeated stabbing pains in the back of my head and upper abdomen and have been feeling nauseous (and close to tears) all day... Crummy, basically. Wrapped in a blanket at the moment, so I'm only faced with the challenge of taking myself upstairs and collapsing in bed and hopefully things will look (and feel) better in the morning.
My BGs have also been going low 1-2 hours after each meal... Ughh.
So, I'll say goodnight now and let myself get better with the aid of sleep.
Tuesday 3 November 2009
First Day Back
Blood glucose: 8.0mmol/l (144mg/dl)
First day back at school today after October break. It was downright depressing, to say the least. Couldn't sleep at all last night, and I was over 200 all night and despite constant corrections, stayed there until the morning... Even after a relatively commonplace non-spikey breakfast of cheerios and soy milk, I still had a spike from breakfast and got to Philosophy at 9AM feeling all sticky from being high for so many hours, only to be greeted with some essays to do.
As if things couldn't get worse, we then got told that we had our HPV vaccinations second period, which I had free. I had so much work to do that I sat in the queue for the jab doing my chemistry. In the queue, I accidentally ripped my infusion set out, and had to do an impromptu set change. The easy set (sure-T for those over the pond) is at least, well, easy. (: But it was still a tad weird to be sticking needles in myself around all these needle panicked girls who were worried about fainting at the vaccination.
As we approached the front of the queue, the lady came out and said "the nurses are having a break now, come back at fourth period if you haven't had the shot yet". So, I'd wasted my entire hour's free, and lost an infusion set, for absolutely nothing. (As you can see, today was amazing.)
Chemistry passed relatively uneventfully, and there was apple and blackberry crumble for lunch, which was the best thing about today. :D As we walked past the shot room, we saw that they were still giving them to people, and went in and got stabbed by the lovely nurses.
Dialogue goes...
Nurse: How many times a day do you take your insulin?
Me: I wear an insulin pump... So... Constantly, I guess.
Nurse: WOW, you need a pump; you must have it BAD.
*eyeroll*
I then had two hours of maths, and finally it was time for philosophy society (the best part of the day!). We went up to the philosophy room, and saw a notice on the board saying "PHILOSOPHY SOCIETY IS NOT ON TODAY! (:"
This was more of a diary entry than a blog, but hey, I don't own a diary so this serves both functions. I really hope tomorrow is better than today. I think I'll start off by going to bed and getting to sleep before 3AM. Goodnight!
First day back at school today after October break. It was downright depressing, to say the least. Couldn't sleep at all last night, and I was over 200 all night and despite constant corrections, stayed there until the morning... Even after a relatively commonplace non-spikey breakfast of cheerios and soy milk, I still had a spike from breakfast and got to Philosophy at 9AM feeling all sticky from being high for so many hours, only to be greeted with some essays to do.
As if things couldn't get worse, we then got told that we had our HPV vaccinations second period, which I had free. I had so much work to do that I sat in the queue for the jab doing my chemistry. In the queue, I accidentally ripped my infusion set out, and had to do an impromptu set change. The easy set (sure-T for those over the pond) is at least, well, easy. (: But it was still a tad weird to be sticking needles in myself around all these needle panicked girls who were worried about fainting at the vaccination.
As we approached the front of the queue, the lady came out and said "the nurses are having a break now, come back at fourth period if you haven't had the shot yet". So, I'd wasted my entire hour's free, and lost an infusion set, for absolutely nothing. (As you can see, today was amazing.)
Chemistry passed relatively uneventfully, and there was apple and blackberry crumble for lunch, which was the best thing about today. :D As we walked past the shot room, we saw that they were still giving them to people, and went in and got stabbed by the lovely nurses.
Dialogue goes...
Nurse: How many times a day do you take your insulin?
Me: I wear an insulin pump... So... Constantly, I guess.
Nurse: WOW, you need a pump; you must have it BAD.
*eyeroll*
I then had two hours of maths, and finally it was time for philosophy society (the best part of the day!). We went up to the philosophy room, and saw a notice on the board saying "PHILOSOPHY SOCIETY IS NOT ON TODAY! (:"
This was more of a diary entry than a blog, but hey, I don't own a diary so this serves both functions. I really hope tomorrow is better than today. I think I'll start off by going to bed and getting to sleep before 3AM. Goodnight!
Monday 2 November 2009
Obsessive?
Blood glucose: 10.7mmol/l (193mg/dl)
I've decided to dedicate today to a topic very close to my heart.
In order to successfully manage MY diabetes, I need to test 10-15 times per day. Perhaps others need to test less. I don't know. I've never had anybody else's body. But from my experience, my reaction to food and insulin varies so unpredictably by the day (and even by the minute) that I simply cannot get by on the 4 tests per day that was at first recommended by my diabetes nurse.
Personally, I test (on school days):
1AM (if I wake up to the alarm);
Before breakfast;
Two hours after breakfast (when school begins);
Three hours after breakfast (at break time);
(Four hours after breakfast);
Before lunch (five hours after breakfast);
Two hours after lunch;
Three hours after lunch (before walking to town to catch my bus home);
(When I get to my bus stop (40 minutes later));
(When I get home (an hour later));
Before dinner (an hour after that);
Two hours after dinner;
Before bed (two hours later).
The tests in brackets happen about 50% of the time. I also test when I suspect I might be high or low, before driving, before exercise, before any snacks, whenever something unusual is about to happen... etc.
All of these tests seem necessary to me, and I have reasons for carrying out every one of them.
Several weeks ago, I spoke at a conference of doctors about the benefits to the patient of using an insulin pump. After being asked, I told the doctors that I tested my BG around 12 times per day. There were shocked gasps and, I have to admit, some muttering. I understand that each test strip I use costs the national health service a little over 50 pence. Trust me, I do appreciate that, I do think about that, and I often feel angry that this is what I have to do. But the fact is, that it IS what I have to do.
At the end of my speech, another lady told me (not in private, as a public comment) that I seemed "devoted, if a little obsessive" to my diabetes.
Devoted? Really? No. I'm devoted to my religion. I'm devoted to many things. I'm devoted to staying alive. But devoted to diabetes? I hate diabetes (and I'm not ashamed to say it). It makes me angry every day. Devotion involves love.
Obsessive... Well, that is a different matter. But, really, are not most people obsessive about their life? I know I wouldn't walk across a road without checking for cars, so why would I go to sleep without checking that my BG is in a safe range (especially since I lost hypo awareness), let alone get behind the wheel.
So, in spirit of my continuing diabetes devotion and obsession, I am desperately trying to get a continuous glucose monitoring system. Hopefully then I will be able to reduce my BG tests to below 6 a day. Won't that be a happy day for my fingers!
I've decided to dedicate today to a topic very close to my heart.
In order to successfully manage MY diabetes, I need to test 10-15 times per day. Perhaps others need to test less. I don't know. I've never had anybody else's body. But from my experience, my reaction to food and insulin varies so unpredictably by the day (and even by the minute) that I simply cannot get by on the 4 tests per day that was at first recommended by my diabetes nurse.
Personally, I test (on school days):
1AM (if I wake up to the alarm);
Before breakfast;
Two hours after breakfast (when school begins);
Three hours after breakfast (at break time);
(Four hours after breakfast);
Before lunch (five hours after breakfast);
Two hours after lunch;
Three hours after lunch (before walking to town to catch my bus home);
(When I get to my bus stop (40 minutes later));
(When I get home (an hour later));
Before dinner (an hour after that);
Two hours after dinner;
Before bed (two hours later).
The tests in brackets happen about 50% of the time. I also test when I suspect I might be high or low, before driving, before exercise, before any snacks, whenever something unusual is about to happen... etc.
All of these tests seem necessary to me, and I have reasons for carrying out every one of them.
Several weeks ago, I spoke at a conference of doctors about the benefits to the patient of using an insulin pump. After being asked, I told the doctors that I tested my BG around 12 times per day. There were shocked gasps and, I have to admit, some muttering. I understand that each test strip I use costs the national health service a little over 50 pence. Trust me, I do appreciate that, I do think about that, and I often feel angry that this is what I have to do. But the fact is, that it IS what I have to do.
At the end of my speech, another lady told me (not in private, as a public comment) that I seemed "devoted, if a little obsessive" to my diabetes.
Devoted? Really? No. I'm devoted to my religion. I'm devoted to many things. I'm devoted to staying alive. But devoted to diabetes? I hate diabetes (and I'm not ashamed to say it). It makes me angry every day. Devotion involves love.
Obsessive... Well, that is a different matter. But, really, are not most people obsessive about their life? I know I wouldn't walk across a road without checking for cars, so why would I go to sleep without checking that my BG is in a safe range (especially since I lost hypo awareness), let alone get behind the wheel.
So, in spirit of my continuing diabetes devotion and obsession, I am desperately trying to get a continuous glucose monitoring system. Hopefully then I will be able to reduce my BG tests to below 6 a day. Won't that be a happy day for my fingers!
Sunday 1 November 2009
A Brief Introduction
Blood glucose: 17.5mmol/l (315mg/dl).
At 10PM UK time I suddenly realised that NaBloPoMo starts today. Seems a fitting month: (American [but I forget about that part, being British and all]) Diabetes Month, my birthday (okay, that's not really linked to blogging, it's just another cool thing about November) and.. Yeah, that's it. But the Diabetes Month thing definitely makes November a fitting month to start blogging again.
I come from Sugar Rollercoaster, which petered out around February. I find it easier to restart completely than to revive the dead, in blogging terms, which is why I've moved to here. Sometimes I feel like it's just easier to start over.
This is such an introductiony introduction, but I either have to ramble or just spout off facts about myself, and either is going to be equally strange. The first post on a new blog is always really hard.
I'm Emma, anyway, and I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on July 6th, 2007. I was on mixtard 30 (NPH and regular premix) for all of six days, before I begged to switch to MDI... Premix was hellish. I'm so glad I was diagnosed in the days when MDI is possible. So, I started on the journey of lantus and novorapid (novolog, to those over the pond). That was relatively uneventful, but not particularly fun either (like any D management is...) but my control was so-so (A1C 7.8, but that was achieved with fairly vast high-low swings). So, on July 31st 2008 I started pumping my insulin with a MM522. My A1C went down to 6.4, but, more importantly, I had better stability and flexibility than I ever had had on shots, and went from taking about 7-8 shots a day to 1 infusion set insertion every 3 days.. Wonderful!
I check my blood glucose about 10-15 times per day, and currently am hypo unaware. I say currently.. It's been about 6 months since I lost awareness, but I still think it might come back.. (;
The story of my D management seems to be getting longer and longer. I remember a few days after diagnosis, all I had to say was "I have type 1 diabetes, I take 2 shots a day." Now I need all the words in the previous paragraph to sum up two and a half short years of my life. I never would have thought this would happen to me, but it has, and I try to keep a (relatively) upbeat attitude about it. It could have been worse. I could have been diagnosed 100 years earlier, in 1907. If I had, I wouldn't even have made it a few more days, let alone two and a half fairly happy and productive years.
Outside of diabetes, I'm in school. I'm 16, and in my first year of sixth form college (lasts two years), studying biology, chemistry, maths, philosophy and critical thinking, and doing a long project on the psychology of religion. After that, I hope to go to university (maybe for a philosophy or psychology degree), and maybe be a teacher some day. I work at the weekends doing secretarial "stuff" at my parents' VAT consultancy firm, and I'm trying to earn enough money to get myself a continuous glucose monitoring system (which I trialled in the summer break). I'm currently working on getting funding for the sensors, because I will never be able to earn enough money at 16 to pay for the system AND the consumables.
I get through books like they're candy, and I spend most of my time on the computer. I also intermittantly play guitar to a low standard and draw to a slightly better but still not overly impressive standard.
Oh, I will also be posting my blood glucose with each blog. Because I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, and it probably will have an effect on how I write. I have a suspicion that I have a tendency to ramble when it is high, and am maybe a little irritable when low... Interested to see how true that is.
This has been a ridiculously long post. I think I will officially end it here. Of course, nobody will be reading yet, but if anybody does stumble upon me, say hi. (That is, if you could cope with the incessant rambling above.) And feel free to ask any questions.. I'm sure I missed something vital. The title of this post was such a lie.
At 10PM UK time I suddenly realised that NaBloPoMo starts today. Seems a fitting month: (American [but I forget about that part, being British and all]) Diabetes Month, my birthday (okay, that's not really linked to blogging, it's just another cool thing about November) and.. Yeah, that's it. But the Diabetes Month thing definitely makes November a fitting month to start blogging again.
I come from Sugar Rollercoaster, which petered out around February. I find it easier to restart completely than to revive the dead, in blogging terms, which is why I've moved to here. Sometimes I feel like it's just easier to start over.
This is such an introductiony introduction, but I either have to ramble or just spout off facts about myself, and either is going to be equally strange. The first post on a new blog is always really hard.
I'm Emma, anyway, and I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on July 6th, 2007. I was on mixtard 30 (NPH and regular premix) for all of six days, before I begged to switch to MDI... Premix was hellish. I'm so glad I was diagnosed in the days when MDI is possible. So, I started on the journey of lantus and novorapid (novolog, to those over the pond). That was relatively uneventful, but not particularly fun either (like any D management is...) but my control was so-so (A1C 7.8, but that was achieved with fairly vast high-low swings). So, on July 31st 2008 I started pumping my insulin with a MM522. My A1C went down to 6.4, but, more importantly, I had better stability and flexibility than I ever had had on shots, and went from taking about 7-8 shots a day to 1 infusion set insertion every 3 days.. Wonderful!
I check my blood glucose about 10-15 times per day, and currently am hypo unaware. I say currently.. It's been about 6 months since I lost awareness, but I still think it might come back.. (;
The story of my D management seems to be getting longer and longer. I remember a few days after diagnosis, all I had to say was "I have type 1 diabetes, I take 2 shots a day." Now I need all the words in the previous paragraph to sum up two and a half short years of my life. I never would have thought this would happen to me, but it has, and I try to keep a (relatively) upbeat attitude about it. It could have been worse. I could have been diagnosed 100 years earlier, in 1907. If I had, I wouldn't even have made it a few more days, let alone two and a half fairly happy and productive years.
Outside of diabetes, I'm in school. I'm 16, and in my first year of sixth form college (lasts two years), studying biology, chemistry, maths, philosophy and critical thinking, and doing a long project on the psychology of religion. After that, I hope to go to university (maybe for a philosophy or psychology degree), and maybe be a teacher some day. I work at the weekends doing secretarial "stuff" at my parents' VAT consultancy firm, and I'm trying to earn enough money to get myself a continuous glucose monitoring system (which I trialled in the summer break). I'm currently working on getting funding for the sensors, because I will never be able to earn enough money at 16 to pay for the system AND the consumables.
I get through books like they're candy, and I spend most of my time on the computer. I also intermittantly play guitar to a low standard and draw to a slightly better but still not overly impressive standard.
Oh, I will also be posting my blood glucose with each blog. Because I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, and it probably will have an effect on how I write. I have a suspicion that I have a tendency to ramble when it is high, and am maybe a little irritable when low... Interested to see how true that is.
This has been a ridiculously long post. I think I will officially end it here. Of course, nobody will be reading yet, but if anybody does stumble upon me, say hi. (That is, if you could cope with the incessant rambling above.) And feel free to ask any questions.. I'm sure I missed something vital. The title of this post was such a lie.
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