Blood glucose: 9.3mmol/l (167mg/dl)
Illness got the better of me, I guess. I've made it to school every day, and kept vaguely on top of work, but not a great deal more than that. But, things are on the up now and I'm no longer waking up all night feeling like I can't breathe. Still dosed up on cold and flu meds, though. BGs were consistently above 14 until a couple days ago... Ugh. So, a meme to get back into the spirit of blogging! Stolen from Kerri.
1. Do you like bleu cheese? No - ew.
2. Have you ever smoked? No (as above).
3. Do you own a gun? No... Way more harm than good. Plus legality issues. And the fact that I would have no clue what to do with one anyway.
4. Favorite type of food? Strawberries. Chocolate brownies. Noodles. Risotto. Chinese.
5. Favorite type of music? Little bit of a variety. Right now I'm into Nevershoutnever! and Death Cab for Cutie, but I like quite a lot of other stuff too.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Vegetarian.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Meh. Four Christmasses was okay.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water, all the way.
9. Can you do push ups? Not in the slightest.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Charm bracelet. (:
11. Favorite hobby? Not sure.
12. Do you have A. D. D.? Nope.
13. Do you wear glasses/contacts? Yep, glasses. Stupid eyesight.
14. Middle name? Grace.
15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment: God, Waterloo Road is good; I really need to catch up with some Chemistry work; Paper tastes good.
16. Name three drinks you regularly drink: Water, fruity tea, strong black coffee.
17. Current worry? That I'm feeling well enough soon to get completely up to date with everything.
18. Current hate right now? Diabetes? That's a bit of a constant.
19. Favorite place to be? Home.
20. How did you bring in the new year? With a canvas and a lot of paint and photos. And a best friend. Perfect.
21. Someplace you’d like to go? Not sure.
22. Name three people who will complete this. No one, I'm sure.
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, but that's not to say I wear them.
24. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark blue with flowers.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Can't say I ever have done.
26. Can you whistle? Yes. And sometimes even accidentally.
27. Where are you now? Sitting in the corner of the living room on my laptop watching Waterloo Road and writing this.
28. Would you be a pirate? No?
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Anything, really.
30. Favorite Girl’s Name? Alba and Kimberley (first two future girl children).
31. Favorite boy’s name? Not sure.
32. What is in your pocket right now? Insulin pump.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? Jen spinning around in circles in the RS department.
34. What vehicle do you drive? Only my driving instructor's car.
35. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Stealing Kerri's answer. Pancreatic death.
36. Do you love where you live? 's'alrigh'.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two.
38. How many computers do you have in your house? Five (laptops).
39. If you changed your job, what would it be? Actress. (Y)
40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? Happy future, happy friends and family, good A level grades..? ;)
Friday 27 November 2009
Monday 16 November 2009
Sunday 15 November 2009
Cheat post, really.
Just because it's close enough to the end of NaBloPoMo that I can't stop now, a cheaty post for today.
Have been working all day basically and also had my first driving lesson on the actual road!
Feeling crappy from the H1N1 shot yesterday, and really exhausted, so I'm off to bed now.
Have been working all day basically and also had my first driving lesson on the actual road!
Feeling crappy from the H1N1 shot yesterday, and really exhausted, so I'm off to bed now.
Saturday 14 November 2009
Happy (?) World Diabetes Day
Blood glucose: 11.4mmol/l (205mg/dl)
Another year, another pseudo-celebration. It feels somewhat like my D-anniversary, to me. Bittersweet. I'm still happy and I'm still healthy, but I still have to deal with diabetes and its challenges every single day. No matter how much I am living, how well I am doing, how good my A1C is, how healthy I am, how happy I am... Nothing can ever take that away from me. However "good" control I am in, I still need to test upwards of 15 times on a lot of days. It's very rare for me to test less than 10 times a day. I usually have to do something, whether it's changing out insulin, tubing or infusion set, every day, which is time consuming.
I can't go out and get drunk or go into town without taking a bag with me or just go to sleep and forget about everything. I can't just skip a meal without the constant nagging question of "are my basals right? Can I actually go without this meal?". I can't lie in bed past 10AM without my parents starting to worry. Am I just being a teenager, or am I low? Have I not woken up, this time? Could I be high? Maybe my infusion set has been pulled out in the middle of the night.
I have to decide every night, whether I am going to set an alarm and disturb my sleep up to 3 times, to allow me to run as low as I would like (4-6mmol/l (72-108mg/dl)), or whether I am going to allow myself to run higher (7-10mmol/l (126-180)) and let myself sleep for longer than 6 hours at a stretch. I'm seventeen years old and I have to make a choice whether for tonight I want to have some decent sleep, or decent BG numbers. I have to decide whether the risks of future complications from running high all night outweigh the risks of waking up at 20-30mg/dl at 1AM. I just don't feel old enough for this, a lot of the time. And yet, I've been doing it since I was 14. And the parents of all children with diabetes have to make these decisions too (about their own children - whose lives are likely far more precious to them than my own life is to me) every single day. We don't get a break. Diabetes never sleeps. We take it with us when we go to school, when we go out, and when we go on vacation. Nothing will ever be simple again, until we have a cure.
We all still deal with every day as it comes. I have 100% attendance at school, and I plan to keep it that way. I'm not sick all the time (even if a simple flu diagnosis does frequently lead to hospitalisation in children and adults with type 1 diabetes, I have been lucky enough to escape any serious illness so far). I still go out (even if sometimes my blood glucose falls to below 2.2 (40) and I have to sit down and eat something and struggle to keep conscious and talking). I still have hopes, and dreams, and future plans. I still have love, and my religion. Diabetes will never take that away from me. Diabetes will never take the majority of what I have away from me.
But I would be lying if I pretended that it has taken nothing away from me, and I would be lying if I pretended I am still the same person as I would be had I not got diabetes.
Another year, another pseudo-celebration. It feels somewhat like my D-anniversary, to me. Bittersweet. I'm still happy and I'm still healthy, but I still have to deal with diabetes and its challenges every single day. No matter how much I am living, how well I am doing, how good my A1C is, how healthy I am, how happy I am... Nothing can ever take that away from me. However "good" control I am in, I still need to test upwards of 15 times on a lot of days. It's very rare for me to test less than 10 times a day. I usually have to do something, whether it's changing out insulin, tubing or infusion set, every day, which is time consuming.
I can't go out and get drunk or go into town without taking a bag with me or just go to sleep and forget about everything. I can't just skip a meal without the constant nagging question of "are my basals right? Can I actually go without this meal?". I can't lie in bed past 10AM without my parents starting to worry. Am I just being a teenager, or am I low? Have I not woken up, this time? Could I be high? Maybe my infusion set has been pulled out in the middle of the night.
I have to decide every night, whether I am going to set an alarm and disturb my sleep up to 3 times, to allow me to run as low as I would like (4-6mmol/l (72-108mg/dl)), or whether I am going to allow myself to run higher (7-10mmol/l (126-180)) and let myself sleep for longer than 6 hours at a stretch. I'm seventeen years old and I have to make a choice whether for tonight I want to have some decent sleep, or decent BG numbers. I have to decide whether the risks of future complications from running high all night outweigh the risks of waking up at 20-30mg/dl at 1AM. I just don't feel old enough for this, a lot of the time. And yet, I've been doing it since I was 14. And the parents of all children with diabetes have to make these decisions too (about their own children - whose lives are likely far more precious to them than my own life is to me) every single day. We don't get a break. Diabetes never sleeps. We take it with us when we go to school, when we go out, and when we go on vacation. Nothing will ever be simple again, until we have a cure.
We all still deal with every day as it comes. I have 100% attendance at school, and I plan to keep it that way. I'm not sick all the time (even if a simple flu diagnosis does frequently lead to hospitalisation in children and adults with type 1 diabetes, I have been lucky enough to escape any serious illness so far). I still go out (even if sometimes my blood glucose falls to below 2.2 (40) and I have to sit down and eat something and struggle to keep conscious and talking). I still have hopes, and dreams, and future plans. I still have love, and my religion. Diabetes will never take that away from me. Diabetes will never take the majority of what I have away from me.
But I would be lying if I pretended that it has taken nothing away from me, and I would be lying if I pretended I am still the same person as I would be had I not got diabetes.
Friday 13 November 2009
Not such a positive view of hypo awareness.
Blood glucose: 6.5mmol/l (117mg/dl)
Wow, low symptoms are 10,000 times worse than I remembered.
On Thursday I dropped to the 50s and just completely panicked. Not at the number - at how I felt. My legs were twitching and I felt on the verge of collapsing. Considering that I hadn't been feeling 20s and 30s up to this week, I'm not really sure what has happened. I was standing at my locker, eating chocolate and seriously considering asking someone for help. I felt that dizzy and faint.
Today I had a low in the 60s during a chemistry test and I couldn't even thing about the test. My brain just felt like it had slowed down completely. I have no idea what is happening. I'm not used to feeling that bad in the 60s.
Much as I hate the low symptoms, at least I'm catching them earlier. It's funny, though, because I felt so close to passing out yesterday when I've been LO before without even the thought of passing out in my mind. Makes me wonder whether people with hypo awareness would collapse at an earlier point than people who can't feel hypos. I mean, if your legs are shaking and twitching, it's bound to be easier to collapse, right?
The other thing is, at least I'm actually running low enough to HAVE lows. I've been a bit higher than usual for quite a while, so it's good to see that my (fairly aggressive) changes are actually working. Considering the amount I'm eating (I had 2 lunches yesterday and 3 dinners today xD) it's quite an achievement that I've stayed below 153 (8.5) all day. :D So.. I might gain a bit of weight, but at least my numbers are good.
Wow, low symptoms are 10,000 times worse than I remembered.
On Thursday I dropped to the 50s and just completely panicked. Not at the number - at how I felt. My legs were twitching and I felt on the verge of collapsing. Considering that I hadn't been feeling 20s and 30s up to this week, I'm not really sure what has happened. I was standing at my locker, eating chocolate and seriously considering asking someone for help. I felt that dizzy and faint.
Today I had a low in the 60s during a chemistry test and I couldn't even thing about the test. My brain just felt like it had slowed down completely. I have no idea what is happening. I'm not used to feeling that bad in the 60s.
Much as I hate the low symptoms, at least I'm catching them earlier. It's funny, though, because I felt so close to passing out yesterday when I've been LO before without even the thought of passing out in my mind. Makes me wonder whether people with hypo awareness would collapse at an earlier point than people who can't feel hypos. I mean, if your legs are shaking and twitching, it's bound to be easier to collapse, right?
The other thing is, at least I'm actually running low enough to HAVE lows. I've been a bit higher than usual for quite a while, so it's good to see that my (fairly aggressive) changes are actually working. Considering the amount I'm eating (I had 2 lunches yesterday and 3 dinners today xD) it's quite an achievement that I've stayed below 153 (8.5) all day. :D So.. I might gain a bit of weight, but at least my numbers are good.
Thursday 12 November 2009
CGMS!
Blood glucose: 4.3mmol/l (77mg/dl)
I got a wishy washy letter from my GP today, letting me know that a decision has still not been made about whether they will cover the CGMS for full time use. They appear to have agreed to cover it for "intermittant" use (whatever that means, exactly). They will not cover the transmitter.
So, we're paying out of pocket for the starter pack (which comes with transmitter, 10 sensors carelink USB and basics) and continuing to beg the primary care trust to fund as many sensors as they will agree to. Even 1-2 a month would be SUCH a help, considering they're 37.50GBP each.
I expect to end up using it only around 50% of the time, but that would be awesome. Even just having it for times of illness, random lows, growth spurts, exam time etc. would be amazing. :D
I just want all the paperwork to go through so I can get onto the CGM as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pretty happy today! (:
I got a wishy washy letter from my GP today, letting me know that a decision has still not been made about whether they will cover the CGMS for full time use. They appear to have agreed to cover it for "intermittant" use (whatever that means, exactly). They will not cover the transmitter.
So, we're paying out of pocket for the starter pack (which comes with transmitter, 10 sensors carelink USB and basics) and continuing to beg the primary care trust to fund as many sensors as they will agree to. Even 1-2 a month would be SUCH a help, considering they're 37.50GBP each.
I expect to end up using it only around 50% of the time, but that would be awesome. Even just having it for times of illness, random lows, growth spurts, exam time etc. would be amazing. :D
I just want all the paperwork to go through so I can get onto the CGM as soon as humanly possible.
I'm pretty happy today! (:
Wednesday 11 November 2009
Feeling some lows!
Blood glucose: 14.1mmol/l (254mg/dl)
I've been unaware of hypos for some months now, but today I've felt one low and one fast drop. This is pretty exciting for me because I hate it when I get really low (in the 1mmol/l range (20- to 36mg/dl before I test and realise what's going on.
Today I was 11.9 (214) at 1 hour after lunch. About half an hour later I tested again to see if I was dropping or whether I needed to correct, and saw a 3.4 (61). I treated, and about 5 minutes later I started getting huge low symptoms. At first I just couldn't think straight, but then I walked upstairs to my locker (I didn't want to be around people) and my legs started shaking and the muscles felt like they were twitching. It was very scary to feel so weak and powerless again after all this time, but quite a relief in a way, because if I start being able to feel lows at around 3mmol/l, that gives me a bit of leeway before anything serious happens.
I accidentally overtreated and bounced up to 12ish (216) and then dropped to 6.2 (112) in half an hour. And I felt low again!
It's funny that I can say the horrible experience of feeling hypo made me feel relieved. But it did. And it still does. Here's to hoping today wasn't a fluke and warning symptoms are coming back for good.
I've been unaware of hypos for some months now, but today I've felt one low and one fast drop. This is pretty exciting for me because I hate it when I get really low (in the 1mmol/l range (20- to 36mg/dl before I test and realise what's going on.
Today I was 11.9 (214) at 1 hour after lunch. About half an hour later I tested again to see if I was dropping or whether I needed to correct, and saw a 3.4 (61). I treated, and about 5 minutes later I started getting huge low symptoms. At first I just couldn't think straight, but then I walked upstairs to my locker (I didn't want to be around people) and my legs started shaking and the muscles felt like they were twitching. It was very scary to feel so weak and powerless again after all this time, but quite a relief in a way, because if I start being able to feel lows at around 3mmol/l, that gives me a bit of leeway before anything serious happens.
I accidentally overtreated and bounced up to 12ish (216) and then dropped to 6.2 (112) in half an hour. And I felt low again!
It's funny that I can say the horrible experience of feeling hypo made me feel relieved. But it did. And it still does. Here's to hoping today wasn't a fluke and warning symptoms are coming back for good.
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